Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
