but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
