Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
