Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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