Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
