I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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