Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
