Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize