Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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