His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
