She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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