i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
