I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
