This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
