What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
