but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize