So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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