I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
