the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
