that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
