Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
