I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
