i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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