Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize