I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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