I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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