Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
