Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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