I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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