we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
