Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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