Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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