I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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