you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
