is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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