brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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