he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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