I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
