I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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