Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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