I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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