Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
