I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
