I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
