College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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