Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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