help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
