How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
