i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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