Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
These tits shall not be calmed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
