First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
