Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
