there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
