Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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