For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
