marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
