we were pretty classy up until the second keg
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
