i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize