The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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