She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
