theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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