is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
