so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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