i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize