Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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