So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
