I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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