Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
