yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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