A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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