I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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