If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
