That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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