i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
