The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize