Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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