I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
