too bad you live with your parents still
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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