I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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