This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
