Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
